Understanding Excitement, Daydreaming and Uncertainity

I sat in the cabin of a man with a distracting belly who kept talking about a passion.

I must have been floating in and out of the conversation, but kept the animation alive with the 'head bob'. I find this a remarkably effective tool while indulging in selective hearing - which is a nice way of saying that someone only listens to what they want to hear. It also works extremely well when its clearly a one way conversation and only a passive audience is required. All I had to do was blink to show signs of acknowledgement.

The room was shrouded with media and marketing books which spoke of themes like  "Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind", "Influence, The Psychology of Persuation", "Blink: The Power Of Thinking Without Thinking". Stashed in between then were wine bottles staring back at me. They seemed to mouth "Drink Me". My eyes glazed over and wandered to the space I occupied in a place that looked like an Operation Theatre.

Everything was too white - white walls, white tables, white blinds, white tubelights. I could almost smell the disinfectant. Jelly Belly anyway seemed to be conducting an autopsey of sorts.

"So welcome to suxaM", snapped me out of my reverie. I smiled and mumbled a bunch of 'thank you's' and 'yes's'. I was goaded into a space where I was greeted with questions like "Where have you done your MBA from?", "What caste are you?", "So you must be great at numbers?, "How come suxaM?".

After the 'passion' harangue and self induced intoxication - I felt like a speck, lost in the the vastness of white, being observed by a superior, combined and more powerful force. The white hurting my eyes and each word at a decibel higher than the other.
 
 I was speechless - left wishing for a kind, smiling, dependable face.

A Language of Subtlety

Dullsville is home to a number of students from rural and small town India - the likes of Handia, Baliya, Mirzapur, Bada Gaon, Mutthiganj. They create an almost satirical image - with an odd mixture of wide-eyed innocence and bemused expressions or the by product of breeding wisdom and apathy.

As a classic example of an immigrant, I have an almost amused tolerance for those who move away from their native cultures and try and assimilate to a new one. The ability to observe and enjoy the quirks therefore comes naturally. "Engliss to Engliss" is an almost super human ability (an exchange in English).

Driving down familiar roads in Allahabad, I was struck by the number of 'language' institutes mushrooming all around.

'Indian Institute of Languages'

'Oxford School of Foreign'

'Vertex Language Academy'

'NASA School for Language'

Who was coming here was clear. What was being taught was obvious. How it was being taught was questionable, as the claim to fame for most was 'Spoking English'. How would the student achieve that flawless exchange - vrtual translation of sentences spoken in HIndi.

This is a subtlety in our Indianized English which has been captured by a number of writers thereby bringing alive characters, incidents and attitudes of communities. My personal favorites being a novel by Anurag Mathur: The Inscrutable Americans and Nizzim Ezekiel's poem Goodbye Party for Miss Pushpa.


The hero in Mathur's novel - gopal, hails from a small town called Jajau and the story begins with his arrival in the United states for his education. The use of Indianized English to describe his feelings, misadventures and state of mind is hilarious and infectious. In a letter to his brother he relates,

"How much I am missing one and all I simply cannot say. My head is eating circles with all new things. Two weeks are already proceeding and I am not even knowing. Also no one is bothering who you are and you are also not to bother. You are not believing, but I am calling respected Professors by first name. One is saying to me, ’’My name is Sam, not Sir Sam. The British are not knighting me yet.’’ Good joke I think. Brother, are you imagining if I am going to Great Principal of Jajua College and calling him by first name? I think he is dying of heart attack."

Later on he goes to explain:

"At Customs, brother, I am getting big shock. One fat man is grunting at me and looking cleverly from small eyes. ’’First visit?’’ he is asking, ’’Yes,’’ I am agreeing ’’Move on,’’ he is saying making chalk marks on bags. As I am picking up bags he is looking directly at me and saying ’’Watch your ass.’’ Now, brother, this is wonderful. How he is knowing we are purchasing donkey? I think they are knowing everything about everybody who is coming to America."

Ezekiel has also pointed out some such syntactical oddities of English with no limit to the potential meanings and consequent enjoyment of the poem.

Friends,

our dear sister
is departing for the foreign
in two three days,
and
we are meeting today
to wish her bon voyage.
You are all knowing, friends,
what sweetness is in Miss Pushpa.
I don't mean only external sweetness
but internal sweetness.
Miss Pushpa is smiling and smiling
even for no reason
but simply because she is feeling.
Miss Pushpa is coming
from very high family.
Her father was renowned advocate
in Bulsar or Surat,
I am not remembering now which place.
Surat? Ah, yes,
once only I stayed in Surat
with family members
of my uncle's very old friend---
his wife was cooking nicely ...
that was long time ago.
Coming back to Miss Pushpa
she is most popular lady
with men and ladies also.
Whenever I asked her to do anything,
she was saying, 'Just now only
I will do it.; That is showing
good spirit. I am always
appreciating the good spirit.
Pushpa Miss is never saying no.
Whatever I or anybody is asking
she is always saying yes,
and today she is going
to improve her prospects
and we are wishing her bon voyage.
Now I ask other speakers to speak
and afterwards Miss Pushpa
will do the summing up.

Cheers to English that makes you laugh as you read along. What to do we are like this only.